CURSES! It has been 84 Corellian orbit-cycles since I started this blog, and as far as I can tell, NOT A SINGLE OF MY SUPPOSEDLY LOYAL SUBJECTS HAS EVEN READ IT ONCE. Look at this, and be ashamed and afraid! "0 Comments." "0 Comments." "0 Comments." "0 Comments." "1 Comment." And your Mighty Emperor suspects that comment was not even from a regular reader! And it sounds as if this pathetic commenter actually likes Riker! (RIKER WILL BURN ALIVE IN THE PLASMA FACTORIES OF HEXATOR 4 SHOULD IT BE THE LAST THING I DO!)
Sigh. Your Virile and Fearsome Emperor is not--as you might think--flawless, impenetrable, or without feeling. I mean, nobody's reading this thing, right? I might as well admit it here. IT'S LIKE I'M TALKING TO A TRANSPARISTEEL WALL OVER HERE!
This is what you have for "technology," you pathetic Earthlings? An internet which does not even point your hilariously weak binocular eyes and ludicrously feeble brains towards a blog CREATED AND WRITTEN by your Terrrifying Leader? A Terrifying Leader who could VAPORIZE YOU WITH QUAD-LASERS FROM MY DEATH-FORTRESS HOVERING ABOVE YOUR HEAD AT THIS VERY MOMENT, it might be worth noting?
What is it that you want? What is it that you use the internet for? News about your petty entertainments? (MOTION PICTURES DO NOT CONCERN ME! Especially when they are not even in six dimensions! And besides, I POSTED THAT VIDEO OF TOM CRUISE! Blessed be his name.) Lurid gossip about your tiny little celebrities? (WHAT GREATER CELEBRITY COULD YOU ASK FOR THAN ME?) YouTubes of adorable animals? (I DID THAT ALREADY!) Weather updates? (NEWS FLASH! I AM GOING TO COVER EARTH IN WHITE-HOT MAGMA!)
Seriously. I will do it.
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6 comments:
Well, I think it's funny! (the blog, not the hideous photo...Come to think of it, the hideous photo is also funny, albeit in a grotesque way).
5c0r3! H00b1e ha5 ju5t d15c0v3r3d a n3w 1nt3r35t1n9 L1f3 f0rm. Y0ur pr35c3n5 15 du3LLy n0t3d.
h00b1etelescope.blogspot.com
ALL HAIL Emperor Klaktu!
All hail our glorious intergalactic overlord!
I am such a huge fan of Emperor Klaktu that I made a world of warcraft character named after him! How can you say your subjects don't fear and respect you in the face of such evidence! Oh yeah....Riker IS a twat. As always you've nailed the... errr.... nail... on the head. You make my pants tight Emperor Klaktu!
Ah, so sorry this brilliant prose was apparently taken over by spammers.
Rigel VIII (listed at beginning of blog) or Rigel VII (post below, many reports by enemy Ann Romano in trashy tabloid on Earth)?
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