Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Maybe I Just Don't Understand This "Blogosphere."

CURSES! It has been 84 Corellian orbit-cycles since I started this blog, and as far as I can tell, NOT A SINGLE OF MY SUPPOSEDLY LOYAL SUBJECTS HAS EVEN READ IT ONCE. Look at this, and be ashamed and afraid! "0 Comments." "0 Comments." "0 Comments." "0 Comments." "1 Comment." And your Mighty Emperor suspects that comment was not even from a regular reader! And it sounds as if this pathetic commenter actually likes Riker! (RIKER WILL BURN ALIVE IN THE PLASMA FACTORIES OF HEXATOR 4 SHOULD IT BE THE LAST THING I DO!)

Sigh. Your Virile and Fearsome Emperor is not--as you might think--flawless, impenetrable, or without feeling. I mean, nobody's reading this thing, right? I might as well admit it here. IT'S LIKE I'M TALKING TO A TRANSPARISTEEL WALL OVER HERE!

This is what you have for "technology," you pathetic Earthlings? An internet which does not even point your hilariously weak binocular eyes and ludicrously feeble brains towards a blog CREATED AND WRITTEN by your Terrrifying Leader? A Terrifying Leader who could VAPORIZE YOU WITH QUAD-LASERS FROM MY DEATH-FORTRESS HOVERING ABOVE YOUR HEAD AT THIS VERY MOMENT, it might be worth noting?

What is it that you want? What is it that you use the internet for? News about your petty entertainments? (MOTION PICTURES DO NOT CONCERN ME! Especially when they are not even in six dimensions! And besides, I POSTED THAT VIDEO OF TOM CRUISE! Blessed be his name.) Lurid gossip about your tiny little celebrities? (WHAT GREATER CELEBRITY COULD YOU ASK FOR THAN ME?) YouTubes of adorable animals? (I DID THAT ALREADY!) Weather updates? (NEWS FLASH! I AM GOING TO COVER EARTH IN WHITE-HOT MAGMA!)

Seriously. I will do it.

47 comments:

Maxine said...

Well, I think it's funny! (the blog, not the hideous photo...Come to think of it, the hideous photo is also funny, albeit in a grotesque way).

H00b1e, the Telescope said...

5c0r3! H00b1e ha5 ju5t d15c0v3r3d a n3w 1nt3r35t1n9 L1f3 f0rm. Y0ur pr35c3n5 15 du3LLy n0t3d.

h00b1etelescope.blogspot.com

Patrick said...

ALL HAIL Emperor Klaktu!

Ticklebum said...

All hail our glorious intergalactic overlord!
I am such a huge fan of Emperor Klaktu that I made a world of warcraft character named after him! How can you say your subjects don't fear and respect you in the face of such evidence! Oh yeah....Riker IS a twat. As always you've nailed the... errr.... nail... on the head. You make my pants tight Emperor Klaktu!

elishamcmanis said...

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aa said...

一起加油吧 ..................................................

健康保寶 said...

Since it is the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.............................................

寄車 said...

嘿,你的部落格不錯哦!........................................

she said...

當身處逆境時,要能忍一時之氣,吃一時之苦,並及早確立自己的目標,總有一天,你會嘗到那甘美的果實。 ..................................................

建淑珍彰 said...

It's great!!..................................................

陳志其 said...

成功是一把梯子,雙手插在口袋裡是爬不上去的。........................................

惠IdellA_Fecteau1231蘋 said...

快樂不需要理由-及時行樂..................................................

佳安 said...

Thx ur share........................................

DennyMa said...

一個人思慮太多,就會失去做人的樂趣 ..................................................

忠元 said...

生存乃是不斷地在內心與靈魂交戰;寫作是坐著審判自己。...............................................................

said...

人是受想像力所支配的。.............................................

韋于倫成 said...

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文迪 said...

如此動感的blog!!!........................................

于呈均名 said...

Extremes meet. 長處即短處。物極必反。否極泰來!一切會更好! ....................................................

tyroneb said...

君子立恆志,小人恆立志。..................................................

暴枝盈 said...

不簡單..一路走來辛苦了- ....................................................

慧君 said...

More haste, less speed...................................................................

韋富 said...

HELLO~幫你推個文^^......................................................................

江婷 said...

河水永遠是相同的,可是每一剎那又都是新的。......................................................................

嘉惠 said...

閒來無聊逛逛blog~~跟您打聲招呼~~.................................................................

育財育財 said...

成熟,就是有能力適應生活中的模糊。.................................................................

群平群平 said...

君子立恆志,小人恆立志。.................................................................

王名仁 said...

人有兩眼一舌,是為了觀察倍於說話的緣故。............................................................

JasonBirk佳琪 said...

Unable to give you a heart. so have a reply to push up your post.
..................................................................

雅莊王edgd春2蕙婷余惠其 said...

甘巴嗲!祝你愈來愈好!............................................................

婷珊 said...

Quality is better than quantity.............................................................

張怡 said...

希望能常常看到你的更新..................................................................

茂慧茂慧 said...

從來愛都不知它的深度,非得等到別離的時候..................................................................

珮瑜 said...

謝謝大大的分享 我會學會反省與寬容 感恩 ∩△∩............................................................

賴珈慧賴珈慧 said...

每天都是新的心情~~希望都是好心情!!!!............................................................

鄭美玉 said...

你不能左右天氣,但你可以改變心情.................................................................

林聿希林聿希林聿希 said...

支持大大~很有啟發性............................................................

萬建彰宇 said...

死亡是悲哀的,但活得不快樂更悲哀。. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

秀李李迪秀李李迪 said...

Judge not of men and things at first sight................................................

瑞陳彥 said...

Necessity is the mother of invention.......................................................................

忠姜姜姜蓮 said...

獲益不少,謝謝分享!............................................................

孫邦柔 said...

幸福不是一切,人還有責任。............................................................

誠林法宇法宇紋 said...

幸福不是一切,人還有責任。..................................................... ............

wnjd said...

路過留言支持~~~..................................................

fdsaf said...

婚姻對男人來說是賭他的自由,對女人而言卻是賭她的幸福。............................................................

Pascale said...

Ah, so sorry this brilliant prose was apparently taken over by spammers.

ChrisL said...

Rigel VIII (listed at beginning of blog) or Rigel VII (post below, many reports by enemy Ann Romano in trashy tabloid on Earth)?