Monday, May 12, 2008

Welcome to My Blog!

It is almost impossible for me to believe that I am celebrating the 547th anniversary of my conquering of the Perseus Alagnon System--a cowardly system where the females looked like males, and the males screamed like females! In celebration of this occasion, and my 759 standard year-cycles of ruling the Andromeda, Triangulum, Aquarius Dwarf, and HVC 127-41-330 galaxies, I created this site as a thank you, to you, for sharing the journey with me, and to invite you to continue to explore what my iron-fisted rule shall bring to your petty, insignificant lives.

I love being a feared system lord. I love conquering your pathetic worlds. I love killing your children with my armies of ruthless snare-beasts. (I also enjoy settling down in my seat in what you Earthlings call a “movie theater,” my “popcorn” and “soda” in hand, and escaping into the magical worlds that my good friend, Tom Cruise, creates before me on that big screen.)

I have had the privilege of living my dream from the time I was a squirming young larval form on the glorious, fetid planet of Rigel VII: To conquer and decimate, to rule and abuse, to entertain, enlighten, scare, make you laugh or cry or having you sitting on the edge of your seat and screaming for mercy.

I have had the great pleasure of working with (and then killing) many of the greatest intergalactic warlords of all time. And there are so many more systems to conquer, so many fellow intergalactic warlords I look forward to working with (and killing)!

My hope with this humble little blog is to bring you in and share with you the laughs and the fun I experience every standard orbit-cycle during the intergalactic warmongering process--from finding a backwards planet with a hilariously unwitting and rudimentary civilization, to bombarding said planet with laser beams and death fungi, to what I finally see when I settle back onto my throne of alien skulls, watching twin blood-red suns rise on my victory.

This is for you. Enjoy!
With love and appreciation,


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